The Skin Debacle Part II: The Double Standard
An African boy grows up in America. If he refrains from using his accent unless he’s around family, visits the gym frequently to grow a body that women call sexy, gets hip to the latest music and styles, he is usually able to gain acceptance from his peers. He is still seen as an African, but somewhat of an African exception; especially the young men that join high school and college football and basketball teams, or become models and/or actors.
CASES in POINT:
<– NFLers like Mathias Kiwanuka (Uganda)
<– Actors like Djimon Hounsou (Benin)
<– Actors like Chiwetel Ejiofor (Nigeria)
<—Actors like Idris Elba (Sierra Leone/Ghana)
For African women, it’s quite different. First, I want you to think for me as hard as you can of a name of a mainstream African woman in America. Note: It cannot be Alek Wek (Sudan,model), Iman (Somalia, model), Oluchi Onweagba (Nigeria, model), or Liya Kebede (Ethiopia, model).
Another Note: Also remember that people refer to one of the above women as “that dark African model”
Still thinking?
Unless the girl does not have stereotypical African features, or has a traditionally American name, her assimilation is usually much harder than the male siblings in her family who may have the same features.
History:
Colorism’s double standard has been present in America for a very long time. During slavery, while lighter skinned slaves usually worked in the house and darker skinned slaves worked in the field, slave owners placed a ranking system on all of the slaves on their plantations, and in many ways passed that system on to the individuals that they enslaved. Because for a while lighter skinned men could usually be found in the house, darker skinned men did most of the hard labor (picking, plowing, mowing, farming, yielding), and were thus more valuable when they were priced to sell. Of course that changed over time as the number of lighter skinned male slaves grew, but the more muscular, the broader the shoulders, the more useful in the field a man was, the more he was worth. This reasoning is also why light skinned men (EVEN TODAY) still have a ridiculous stigma of being “soft” or “pretty” or “punks”, and may have to earn respect among their black male peers. What was valuable then, is still seen as valuable now, and is thus why African males can easier blend into the description of desirable, sexy, and handsome among women.
Because black women suffered horrible sexual abuse during slavery, an abuse that’s mindset still lingers in the endorsers of black female subjugation and images of the black Jezebel, her value (for a long time) was between her legs. How many children can she provide? How good is she in bed? How well can she take care of my children? Women that had relations with slave owners sometimes received gifts in return; like safety for them and their children, and later, even economic gain. As the population of lighter skinned women grew, so did an interest in them, since they shared some of the same features (nose, eyes, blood type) as their owner. They then became who were higher priced (aside from women that they called “Mammies”), since by Western standards they were ”cleaner” and more “attractive” than their darker counterparts. Again, that same value system has been passed down, where even black people tend to value and prefer lighter skinned women over darker skinned women. I believe this is why it’s much harder to see an African woman in the mainstream without her being susceptible to vicious taunts about her features and skin, and African men are more easily accepted.
Black Female Loyalty:
Perhaps slavery’s history in this country has very little to do with the double standard. Another conceivable option is the loyalty that black women have to their men, despite how they may sometimes be treated and objectified, and later even forced to take an L to her non-black counterparts. Black women in America seem to have a much stronger allegiance to black men than what they receive in return. They generally stick up for them more, put up with more, and are less likely to marry outside of their race (that might change soon though, considering the latest statistics). Because of this, black women in America are more likely to accept assimilated African males. They are more likely to give those men a chance. Black men, on the other hand, unless the African woman is unsuspecting or has fully assimilated (she knows nothing about her parent’s country), are rarely as accepting.
Economics:
Have you noticed that very few romantic pairs seem to physically match each other? It seems that no matter how a man looks, he can court what his society calls an attractive woman, as long as he has money. This is also a very viable reason that African men in America may not suffer from the same colorism as African women. Most of our parents did not make education an option for us. It wasn’t if we were going to college, it was where. The denial of their education upon immigrating here hurt so much that they are mostly all determined that their children receive degrees and advanced degrees from the best schools in the country. They get back at them by educating us. Because of this pressure on education, some African males come out with impressive job placement and have a larger option in choosing mates, since women generally flock to successful men, sometimes no matter how they look or where they are from.
For women, of course, it’s different. In Western culture, a trophy wife is typically a White woman with blond hair. That image is gradually shifting to women of Latin origin and black women with European features. Most African women in America do not fit into those categories. On the other hand, if she becomes educated and obtains the advanced degrees that her parents encourage her to, she is clumped into what the mass are calling “angry black woman”, which I’m beginning to believe is just code for a liberated woman of color who knows better than to accept all of the ideals and norms that were handed to her. The ABW’s are increasingly non-married, or are beginning to marry outside of their race (white men). In my experience, white men have shown more romantic interest in African women than African-American men have. The only problem with that is the intent. Do the said men see her as the beautiful, intelligent, worldly, witty woman that she is and wants to get to know; or does he still see her as Jezebel in a scant red robe, the image that began all of this mess in the first place.
Tags: African-Americans, Black Women, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Colorism, Djimon Hounsou, Idris Elba, Mathias Kiwanuka, Slavery
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July 10, 2008 at 12:01 pm
This contribution is once again right on point .I agree with what you said concerning Us African Men having a larger pool to choose from ,but i dont think Educated AA Women willing give us a chance .
It is definitely harder for our Sisters to find mates among their brothers ,but i see some of them dating and marrying African American Brothers .
We need to work on ourselves and be more focused on what is important for Our Black Community .
July 10, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Thanks Birima,
I definitely appreciate the support.
I think you have to consider that African-American women feel way more guilty about marrying non-African-American men than African-American men feel about marrying outside of their race. Of those women, the ones that are educated may be more conscious about the state of the black race in America, and since there is pressure on women to continue holding together families, they tend to hold out throughout their adulthood to see if they will find men within their race and culture. However, time is introducing a slow turn to bi-cultural marriages as ways to strengthen the diaspora as a whole. You are right, African women are beginning to marry African-American men also, but the numbers (and overall appeal to African-Americans) are still different.
You are right, we definitely need to work on ourselves first. The mind is a good place to start; putting the focus on repairing and strengthening our mentalities toward one another, and educating each other about the larger struggle of people of color around the world. I think that will in turn make us free to move, build, aspire, love as we see fit, and be loved in return.
Or maybe it depends on the region. I’d like to research the numbers of bi-cultural marriages in relation to the US geographical region, since I know that immigration patterns are different everywhere, and play a huge role.
Or perhaps even perspective. I definitely used media to illustrate my point, but I know that it isn’t always an accurate representation of reality. Maybe in your experience there is a pretty equal balance? Do you think that assimilated African boys are just as susceptible to colorism and xenophobia?
July 10, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Assimilated African kids definitely go through the same thing no matter what gender. I feel you that there is a double standard to the colorism thing, but men go through the same thing. I think djimon hounsou or idris elba, even though black women like them, still probably have to deal with jokes and stuff from their male peers about their heritage
July 13, 2008 at 7:49 pm
I think that African kids who were either born here in the Us or who came at a young age face lot of hurdles ,even more than us who came after we passed our teen years.We come with a foundation a base on which we can fall back ,cause believe me America is very very hard .One has to be strong mentally in order to survive ,one would say that life is hard but as a Foreigner we encounter two strides not only we are black but we are also African
When it comes to African like yourself (SAH ) who been here for awhile i think you all have had important choices to make and those will determine how you all fare in this country .Like you said the geographic location plays a role ,because the area where the kid African Boy or Girl ) lives, determines a lot .
It is up to the Parents to make sure their kids know who they are and where they from .I am amazed when i hear the importance given to the skin color( Light Skinned and Dark Skinned) …………………
To me if you are not White ,you are Black no matter what you may want to call yourself
I think that will help us get rid of the colorism and Xenophobia
July 14, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Very interesting! I have observed many Continental African men with African American women, but I rarely see CA women with AA men, unless the women are Ethiopian or Somali. I also feel sometimes that, as a light complextioned African American woman, that many of the CA men who approach me are interested in me BECAUSE I am African American and light-skinned.
The same double standard exists among African Americans as well. Dark men are coveted (even though they DO endure jokes about their appearance) and dark women are often maligned unless they are exceptionally gorgeous (and there is even then someone waiting to say “you sure are pretty for a dark skinned girl”). Whereas light men are often dissed and light women are held up as the standard.
July 22, 2008 at 10:27 am
I agree completely. It’s not just African men and women, but AA men and women. It is profound. AA women practice endogamy at profound rates. Black men however are more likely than any other race to marry outside their race because they subscribe to the white standard of beauty. It has nothing to do with Black women’s ‘attidues’ or all these other excuses about not giving a brotha a chance. The fact is, colorism is perpetuated in these rap videos, with models, and actresses. It will always be Beyonce instead of India arie, or alicia keys instead of a darker skinned sista.
August 1, 2008 at 10:39 pm
TJ–
“Black men however are more likely than any other race to marry outside their race because they subscribe to the white standard of beauty.”
In my opinion, you are incorrect. Black men owe no allegiance to any group or class of people. Everyone is free to marry whomever they choose. The logic you express is not based on fact.
August 17, 2008 at 11:10 pm
First time here, interesting blog.
I think your post was thought provoking but I see that a lot of generalizing going on, IMO….
Eh, light skin isn’t always preferred with black Americans. For every “lighter skinned black” who claims they were treated preferrably, there’s two more who were mistreated, taunted, challanged, or aused for their lighter tone. That covientially gets neglected when these conversations come up.
Most of the black women in the media, overall, are BROWN. Not “light and bright”. Look at the stats. Most black models (American and not American), actresses, musical artists, media personalities, etc. —THEY AIN’T LIGHT.
Don’t believe the hype!
August 25, 2008 at 6:39 pm
First time at your blog. I like it. As a white man who has dated black women (One was Carribean and one was AA), I can say that its not about exoticism, etc. Blacks have a lot of desirable features - Black people hold more of their fat in their muscles giving them a more muscular figure for the same fitness level. Acne is much less noticeable on dark skin. I like athletic women with good complexions - so, there you go.
Also, scientifically, 1) Africans have the highest genetic diversity, leading to healthier, smarter kids. 2) pale skin is kind of obsolete now that you can just take vitamin D supplements. I hate getting sunburned - it would be nice if my kids could enjoy the outdoors and travelling without having to worry so much about getting a painful sunburn.